Sunday, August 5, 2012

Hello Stranger

He’d been always there for me a countless times, and I believe I was just blinded by all the aches that I have mended my defenses way too invincible to the point of being numb.  I gave him coldness, he gave me warmth. I gave him sarcasm, he gave me sweetness. I gave him rejection, he gave me acceptance. I gave him all the reasons that can dismay his affection, he embraced all my flaws. He is a stranger who patiently listened to all my sentiments, a stranger who sincerely sympathized to my miseries. I know I became selfish, I know I became rude, I even became lax. But the more I insist him to give up his feelings for me, the more scared I become that, um he will do so. I was jailed in a relationship that gone no further than just, leaving me with no reasons to love again. I felt used, smothered.

That would be pathetic of me to fall for the same trick the second time around.  But, there is something in him that’s making me want to try falling in love, once again. His word makes me feel secured, like his every sentences was a security blanket for me. I know it’s weird but, I can feel his sincerity despite not seeing him yet. I don’t know if he loves me for real, but I guess life’s just a matter of taking a try for whatever it will offer you on the table, and I am ready for anything now.

I want to spend my every day mocking and teasing him, this is so rude of me but, my day’s just isn’t complete without me bullying him. Like it’s my way of saying, that I am the only one who has the authority to do those things to him. Selfish and nefarious it may seem, but it’s just one weird way of mine in making people feel that they have a special place in my heart.

I’m not the sweetest girl in the world, im not even sweet, but I want to cuddle with him all day long, I want to hold his hands as I play with his fingers in a midst of a crowd, I want to fall asleep in his arms, I want to be so close to him that I can hear his every breath already. I want to argue with him about random things, I want to face each and every fear I have, with him smiling behind me, I want to walk anywhere with him as we lose track of the time, I want to fight with him about silly stuffs, cry for infinitesimal reasons, part ways, then realize that all we have is the both of us, kiss like it was the very first, love like it was the only thing we know to do. 

But, I’m not still strong enough to own him and the possibility of losing him anytime. I know we’ll get there someday too, but now, I am just so happy that I met him. And for me, that will always be enough.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Book Review: Die For Me & Until I die by Amy Plum

I have spent my weeks reading these books by Amy Plum. At first, i was skeptical of even glancing at its very first page, i'm not a fan of romance novels and thought i would never be, but as i have read the first few pages of the book, I was caught off-guard, I gagged for it, drooled for it, and breathed on its every momentum, and now i feel that it is a part of me.

I am frantically a hopeless romantic person, i would never deny that, and this book had all the right words, people and circumstance written to bleed what exactly i am fantasizing for myself.

Kate Beamont Mercier and Vincent Delacroix's love story has became the major motion picture playing in my mind as i enter my fictional world whenever i have the chance to. It just not become a habit, but an addiction, and i'm ecstatic every now and then.

Kate's profound affection for art and everything under the umbrella of all the things weird and quirky a normal 17 year old girl would never put herself into, has always been congruent with mine. And she being the   life of an undead too good too be true supposedly 80 year-old revenant but was trapped on a body of a 19 year old way too gorgeous guy, has come on my senses delicious by default.

I know they're not real. But at least with them and their story, i can find my reverie.

I can't wait for the trilogy (If I Should Die), despite having me not want the story to have its end still very frolic of what would happen next.

Paris, France. I will go there someday too. Insane it may sound, but I am going to find my own kate-vincent love story there. :))))