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Friday, August 20, 2010

NOSTALGiA

His absence lingers in my every vein, excruciatingly kills each second of momentum. I never had imagined that i will be this head over heels with love, with him. My plan of just letting things to go hand in hand with fate, unaware, had surfaced into a chapter of my tale rather than a pure schema. I'm dying with guilt, guilt is killing me, I owe a lot from guilt, and guilt itself now turn into an enigma I'll never wish for him to witness.


He's all i wanted in my life, more than any other things i thought i like the most. Every inch of him, every bit of his existence, every detail of his physic is an addiction to me, stronger than the heroine of those who are sick by health and sick by soul. I'm craving for a single taste, for a single tranquility. I love him to death, to reincarnation, perpetually I'll suffer, no remorse I will make.


Between his smile and tears I want to fall asleep, between his heart and manhood I want to suffer and die. I opt no ears to hear me, no hands to reach for mine, no help to rescue me -- im happily trapped and used, resoundingly loved and valued. As I wake up to fall asleep, as I breath to be killed then, no shattered dignity nor exploited flesh will be inculcated with my doom. I'm happy. Overwhelmingly satisfied.


I'm a child lost in a dream, and his body is my wonderland. He let me then play, let me then seek happiness. As you goes by with this not so vivid article, I protest if you conclude that I'm martyr and insane. I'm no martyr for I'm a slave ( its the way it should be ) , I'm no insane for I'm mentally vindicated. if you would not believe still then so be it. I'm in cloud 9 brought by his affection and you cant blame me for that.


This narcolepsy is getting deeper and deeper, worse and worse, magical than ever. I cant associate no word but BEAUTIFUL. Lost by his stare, lost by his weight over me, im running for my breath, as I close my eyes and dream, I achieve of sanctuary, of bloody soul and innocence. I grab for a blanket to cover my impurities, and as I open my eyes, face the reality and tilt my head up, he wiped away my tears, kiss my fears off of me, took away my blanket and cover me with his heat and his wholeness now exclusively mine.


" I love you . "


He whispered in my ears, as we sleep through the night, with the moon and the stars as our only witnesses ..





.. of our sweetest sin, we, forever will commit.




♥ :))




10.25.09






THE iNSEKYURANG PAKANGKANG NA NEiGHBORHOOD OF MiNE ..

ANO KUNG NAG-iiSA LANG SA PLANET EARTH ANG iSYTAL NG PAGKAKATABAS NG BUHOK KO ? ANO KUNG iBANG PAMAMARAAN ANG GiNAGAMiT KO SA PANANAMiT ? ANO KUNG LUMALABAS AKO NG BAHAY NG WALANG SUKLAY SUKLAY AT MUKANG NAKiPAGSABONG SA SAMPUNG AGiLA ? MAAPEKTUHAN KA BA NUN ? iKAW BA ANG PAGTATAWANAN ? iKAW BA ANG MAGMUMUKHANG BAHUiN ? iKAW BA ANG PAGBUBULUNGAN DAHiL KAKAiBA KA ? KAPAG TiNOTOPAK NGA NAMAN ANG MGA BABAENG PAKANGKANG SA KANTO. KAPAG NAKAKiTA NG MAS KAKAiBA KESA SA PAGiGiNG HiNDi NiLA KAHALi-HALiNA SA MATA. iPANGANGALANDAKAN PA LALO ANG KAKULANGAN NiLA SA UTAK AT SA PAG-iNTiNDi NG MGA NAKAPALiGiD SA KANiLANG Di MAiKAKAiLANG MAS MAY SiLBi SA LiPUNAN. AT MAS MAY AMOY NA PANGTAO AT HiNDi PANGHAYAK. KUNG HiNDi NA MABENTA YANG PiNAGKAKAKiTAAN MONG TiLAPYANG BiLASA.

WAG KA NG SUMiGAW PA ?

LAPiT KA LANG SA AKiN.

Di KiTA GUGULPUHiN.

PAPALUNUKiN PA KiTA NG iSANG LiBO.
iSA SA NGUSO MO.
iSA SA PUKE MONG MAS DUROG PA SA GiNiLiNG NA BABOY.


HiNDi AKO YUNG KLASE NG TAONG MAHiLiG SA AWAY O SA ANUMANG Di KAAYA-AYA PARA PAGAKSAYAHAN NG LAWAY. Di AKO NANGHiHiYA AT HiNDi RiN NANAPAK NG WALANG PiNAGKAKANGiTNGiTNGiTANG DAHiLAN. ANG SA AKiN LANG NAMAN WAG MO AKONG GALAWiN KUNG HiNDi NAMAN KiTA iNA-ANO AT LALONG LALO NA WAG MONG TATAPAKAN ANG EGO KO KUNG Ni TENGA MO Di KO NAMAN HiNAHAWAKAN. EDUKADO AKONG TAO. Di KO SASAYANGiN ANG MAHiGiT SAMPUNG TAONG iPiNASOK KO SA PAARALAN PARA LANG MAKiPAGLARO NG TANGA TANGAHAN AT PABABABAAN NG MORALiDAD GAME SA MGA KATULAD MONG ALAM KO NAMANG Di KAUTAKAN AT HiNDi KASAYAHAN ANG PAGKAKALUWA SA MUNDONG iBABAW. KUNG MAY ORAS LANG AKO GUSTO SANA KiTANG TURUAN NG MGA BASiCS NG PAGGALANG SA KAPWA AT PAGRESPETO SA KUNG ANO SiLA AT HiNDi SiLA LABAS SA PAGKAKAALAM MONG YUN LANG. KASO KAHiT MAY BUUNG iSANG ARAW PA AKONG WALANG GAGAWiN WAG NA LANG PALA ? WALA KA RiN NAMANG MAGiGiNG PAGBABAGO PAGKATAPUS -- SiGURADO YUN.



HiNDi AKO NAiiNiS SAYU O NAGAGLiT. ANG TOTOO NAAWA NGA AKO SAYU E ? SA GANYANAG PARAAN KA BA PiNALAKi NG MGA MAGULAN MO ? AT SA GANYANG PARAAN MO RiN BA PAPALAKiHiN ANG MAGiGiNG ANAK MO SA HiNAHARAP ? NAAWA AKO SAYU. NAAWA AKO SA KANiLA.



HANGGAT MAARi SANA MAGBAGO KA PA. DAHiL BUKOD SA NiLULUNOD MO LANG ANG SARiLi MO SA KAMANGMANGAN AT PAGTATAKiP KAPiNTASAN, UNTi UNTi MO RiNG PiNiPiNTAHAN NG KULAY PUTiK ANG LARAWAN NG SARiLi MO SA MGA TAONG NAKAPALiGiD SAYO.


SANA MAGBAGO KA PA. SANA.






- ADiOS.