Friday, November 4, 2011

To the man i love the most :)

Actually, this is supposedly a post last October 28 pero wala lang akong net nun so ngayon na lang, hihi.

Happy happy birthday Papa ! I love you so much, everyday and for infinity. No words can best describe how thankful and blessed i am to be your child. Palage lang akong andito para alagaan ka. I wish the best in life, good health and more faith to God. Pagnagkatrabaho na ako ililibot ko kayo ni mama sa buong mundo. Haha. I love you so much Pa, Happy birthday :)

haha. Owyeah. :D


Gusto ko ng matulog pero ayaw pa ako paghimlayin ng kokote kong panay pa rin sa pagtakbo. Ano nanaman ang idadaldal ko? Tsk. Sige. 

Kakatapus ko lang pala basahin yung librong Orosa-Nakpil, Malate. Maganda sya, sobrang makakarelate ang mga kapasisterhood natin sa gay community. Very informative din sya kasi sobrang gigisingin nya yung utak mo regarding the risk of having multiple sex partners and also doing the deed without any protection. Mas lalo ding lalawak ang kaalaman mo sa HIV/AIDS. Pero hindi lag naman toh tungkol dun, umiikot din ang istorya sa paghahanap ng bidang homosexual ng trulab.

Kaya sa tingin ko dapat talaga tong mabasa ng mga umeskemberloo jan, very informative and worth reading !


His absence lingers in my every vein, excruciatingly kills each second of momentum. I never had imagined that i will be this head over heels with love, with him. My plan of just letting things to go hand in hand with fate, unaware, had surfaced into a chapter of my tale rather than a pure schema. I'm dying with guilt, guilt is killing me, I owe a lot from guilt, and guilt itself now turn into an enigma I'll never wish for him to witness.

He's all i wanted in my life, more than any other things i thought i like the most. Every inch of him, every bit of his existence, every detail of his physic is an addiction to me, stronger than the heroine of those who are sick by health and sick by soul. I'm craving for a single taste, for a single tranquility. I love him to death, to reincarnation, perpetually I'll suffer, no remorse I will make.

Between his smile and tears I want to fall asleep, between his heart and manhood I want to suffer and die. I opt no ears to hear me, no hands to reach for mine, no help to rescue me -- im happily trapped and used, resoundingly loved and valued. As I wake up to fall asleep, as I breath to be killed then, no shattered dignity nor exploited flesh will be inculcated with my doom. I'm happy. Overwhelmingly satisfied.

I'm a child lost in a dream, and his body is my wonderland. He let me then play, let me then seek happiness. As you goes by with this not so vivid article, I protest if you conclude that I'm martyr and insane. I'm no martyr for I'm a slave ( its the way it should be ) , I'm no insane for I'm mentally vindicated. if you would not believe still then so be it. I'm in cloud 9 brought by his affection and you cant blame me for that.

This narcolepsy is getting deeper and deeper, worse and worse, magical than ever. I cant associate no word but BEAUTIFUL. Lost by his stare, lost by his weight over me, im running for my breath, as I close my eyes and dream, I achieve of sanctuary, of bloody soul and innocence. I grab for a blanket to cover my impurities, and as I open my eyes, face the reality and tilt my head up, he wiped away my tears, kiss my fears off of me, took away my blanket and cover me with his heat and his wholeness now exclusively mine.

" I love you . "

He whispered in my ears, as we sleep through the night, with the moon and the stars as our only witnesses ..

.. of our sweetest sin, we, forever will commit.


Sometimes, I just want to close my eyes and wander ..