Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Just another enigma.

Its cold.

The rain’s kissing our skins fatally leading us to commit crimes we’re not supposed to commit.

Your eyes, they’re telling me stories of wonderlands and fairytales, the child within my heart is becoming naïve as she always does.

This cold shivers my knees, I’m becoming brittle and brittle.

Your smiles, they’re giving me vivid envisages of lovely summer memories I can hold on forever. Your voice’s giving my ears song of lullabies, keeping me awake and wandering at the same time. It’s really adorable how you speak. Go and tell me more of those beautiful places you’ve seen, amazing people you’ve met.

I search and search for a refuge I can hide my self into, a peculiar light had invited my eyes, I seek for it, I sought for it and so I witnessed its superfluous identity. Coldness had been out powered by invincible warmth, now I am relieved, or just I thought.

You must be kidding! I’ve also did those silly things when I was younger. Ha-ha, we’d be partners in crime then if we’d already met each other that time. Screw us. Ha-ha.

This is so much empathy, can I just see your face? Can I? 

That was so much fun talking to you, but wait, something’s wrong, something’s not suppose to happen, don’t talk to me too much, stop making me smile, refrain from making me laugh to your jokes, I might love you. You don’t want it right, me neither.

My heart keeps on pounding so hard, I looked at you, you seem so calm and easy, how am I suppose to ride your this-is-no-big-deal thing when I’m all panicking inside? Your heart must be numb with ice and stone, whoever would be hurt, you don’t give a single fuck, if I will be, if she will be, or if you will be either, you don’t care. You don’t care.

You’re beautiful. Everything about you is so special. Hold me once and I’ll never free you. Go control everything in me, I am yours to exploit.

As I was in the midst of the motions of this and that, he touched my chin and slightly tilted my face, and to no avail, I was left just closing my eyes as the only option I have. As our faces got closer, I felt his breath warm and special, slowly flown to my veins, to my spine and to my heart. His lips touched mine. It was a kiss. We’ve kissed.

And I was frozen.

Wherever you will go, just go and take me there. I don’t care how long the journey will be, just take me with you, just please take me with you.

It’s like cold and warmth intertwined. It’s soothing, excruciatingly delightful, grotesquetically adorable. I’m running out of breath, I am grasping for air, but none of these made me refuse each and every friction I had with yours. Of how you’ve held me tight in your arms, of how you’ve filled each spaces between my fingers with yours, of how you’ve caressed my heart. I’ve fell for them, for those, for you. Tell me this will last, tell me where not playing fools. My heart would be drastically hurt if you say no.

In a matter of second, all the things including the peculiar light I’ve thought that’ll guide my path had been obscured by the darkness.

No words had been uttered but it was crystal clear that it was all part of his scheme. No feelings involved, no emotions attached, pure schema. I lose the game, I failed to guard the thing he degradedly destroyed.

 He’s done with me, and he’s off living his life as if I’ve never existed. I was emotionally smothered. He’d consumed all the sanity in me, leaving me no pride to reap. I should’ve seen it beforehand. I should have.

All of a sudden, he’d vanished. All of a sudden, I was left alone. All of a sudden, it was all a dream.

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