Its sweet I guess.
That feeling of having chills whenever that someone is around and you can do nothing but to stay still and pretend that you have the numbest senses to ignore his every cuteness. It’s very elementary isn’t it? Puppy love, secret love, first love, infatuation, I’ve experienced almost all of them, and at my age now I can now really tell that there is more to love than those.
When I was a child, love, I don’t really know what it’s all about. If im on that age and you’re going to ask me of what love is ? I might answer you, ‘ love .. hm. Its how my parents feel for each other? And perhaps the reason why I’m existing.’ As a child, I grew up believing that love is love in itself, and such it will come on when it is meant to come.
Years passed, people came and went, I smiled, I laughed, burst into tears, rejected, redeemed, triumphed, and so on and so forth. And to those years that passed, I loved so many times, rejected so many times. And so I learned that love isn’t just sweet as how fairytales told me so.
The process of growing up took me to many different places and shoes ive never imagined to be in. Its like eating your most favorite food while riding in a roller coaster you don’t know when will stop, when can you eat your favorite food, and what are the chances that you won’t miss a grip of it. Life’s tricky, and so is love.
Love can be hurtful, can be so excruciating. But that’s how it goes. You’ll love, you’ll get hurt, you’ll learn, you’ll love again. But again, there is more to love than those.
As a day is being ripped off of my life, I hunger for what is more than enough, of how love became the center of almost everything, of how it can make someone a beast and a saint, of why everyone seems to crave for its sanctity, and of billions of how’s and why clinging on my very thought.
I pause for a minute, and mesmerize my environment. It’s also the minute that I realized I am the only one home. I peeked outside and decided to walk. I’ve seen so many faces, how am I supposed to write something regarding love if those faces don’t convey what im looking for. Is love supposed to hurt? Is love supposed to bring you happiness? Ughh , I don’t know what to write anymore.
On my way home, as I cross the street I saw a jeepney driver talking to a (pulubing bata-pakitranslate na lang), preaching about life, taking about how he have spent his teenage years playing games he thought worth wasting time, not minding how life will just be a glimpse at his expense. He told the child that he should pursue education because when he had chance to do so, he missed it and so he became a failure and would be probably die achieving nothing at all. It melt my heart to hear those words, but on the other side, I felt blessed to see that there are still people that are not coward to set themselves as examples so that others won’t do the same mistakes they did. And why would he be concern to someone he’s not really related to? It’s love I guess.
That scene opened my eyes to many different shades of love, of it being a broad world to explore, of it being a word with many meanings that can be associated with.
It can be a child sharing his cookie to his playmate. It can be a mother cooking lunch for her daughter. It can be someone helping his friend in his downs. It can be a stranger helping an old woman cross the street. It can be a simple take care and don’t forget to eat your lunch. It can be in the form of letting go, of acceptance and of wishing all the happiness for someone. It can be in fighting for what you know, will bring you happiness. It can be in a secret glimpse, mere hi’s and hello’s, simple nods and smiles.
Now what is love for me?
My parents, my mother and father who work as hard as they could to provide me the future they always want for me.
My friends who put smile on my face whenever I’m weary and all depressed.
The people who have been a part of my life in the past and in the present for giving me memories I always look up to when life is giving me many reasons to quit.
Those precious moments, when I felt valued than ever. Those words that calmed me when fear is out powering me, that when I reminisce, keeps me believing that life has many beautiful things to offer if I will put worries aside and expand my horizon with god as my guiding light in every journey I went through.
Those smiles, those taps in my back, those warm embrace, those ears that listens, those hands that firmly holds mine, those prayers, those who understands, those who continue believing, those second chances, those shoulders I can rely to, all of them, they are love to me. But again, there is more to love than those.
I still can’t say that I’m no longer naïve for I’m not yet half through with my journey. I have lots of things to explore, many people to encounter, many places to see and many circumstances to learn from. Ive experienced to cry, to love and to be loved, met numbers of different people, stocked in countless dilemmas, and learned from them and from those, but with all those experiences I’ve encountered, still, am for sure, that there is more to love, than those. :)