To you.

To you who wander in this hideous place as often as you could,
things in here are just fragments of my demented mind.
Read them, but never let them sap your hopes for thou,
nor let them belie the beautiful springs my stories have taught you.
I am no more than a giddy child frantic about everything,
and I hope you can wield your affection and still see through me.
My tongue is sometimes as sharp as a dagger,
my mind is sometimes as dither as the weather.
But I know in deepest abbeys of my soul, I am besotted in you.
And I never had the chance to tell you I do.
So, to you who wander in this hideous place as often as you could,
things in here are just fragments of my demented mind.
Read them, but never let them sap your hopes for thou,
nor let them belie the beautiful springs my stories have taught you.
They are real, were real.
But only if you believe in them.
- J.

REVERIES

It’s 4.30 in the morning, and I‘m sitting on my bed, thinking of ways I can find someone who is utterly unearthly, has a mystic power, breath-takingly handsome and is meant to take me to wherever journey he has to go, to unravel the hollows in his life and to introduce me to things I would never have thought of. Pretty haywire I know, never in my life will I escape reality, so instead, I’m merging two worlds in one.

There is this boy in my school, and his stares felt like he’s going to devour me right on the very spot and I won’t mind. His eyes are the coldest I’ve ever seen, and everything about him shouts peril and cavalier, but since then, I forgot how to decipher such signs. He doesn’t know his face is the same face in my daydreams, he doesn’t know I’ve already kissed him a thousand times, he doesn’t know he almost hit the second base, he doesn’t know we’ve already sailed through the Caribbean, he doesn’t know we’ve already spent a summer at the Cote d’ Azure, he doesn’t know he’d promised to marry me for an infinity of reincarnation, he doesn’t know he had already slew numbers of Numa to save me, he doesn’t know he had already threw himself to a herd of Lost Souls for me to escape, he doesn’t know he’d been almost killed by Raveners when he rescued me from a fight, he doesn’t know he will beat the odds only for us to be together he doesn’t know he loves me, he doesn’t know I love him.

In my head, our love gets stronger as days pass. In my head we are each other’s antidote. He doesn’t know all of this and I’m sure he will never do, but at least in my head I love him, and he loves me more.